.Virtually every American (and nearly every human on the planet!) has been forced to adjust to find community during COVID in different ways. Whether you are introvert or extrovert – we all have an internal craving for relationships and shared experiences with others within a community.
It may provoke you to ask the questions of:
- Why do we crave community and feel that something is missing in our lives without it?
- What are the different ways that we find community?
- How do we find community when all our normal, traditional places of community are closed or empty?
Why Do We Crave Community?
As with any fundamental “why” question, there are various views on this topic. I believe that each of us were created with this internal craving for belonging and friendship because our Creator knows that is best for humanity. We become better versions of ourselves while we are in community but become unhappy, apathetic, and (usually) unproductive without it.
Each of us is born with different personalities, gifts, and talents – so we naturally have strengths and limitations. If it was just me (or everyone was just like me), then there would be nobody to compliment my limitations and, therefore, provide a complete picture of humanity. We are a beautiful harmony of unified diversity when we are in community – not a single staccato note or a clanging cymbal.
We can all agree on this: We desire to love and be loved in return. This can only happen through relationships found within a community.
The Third Place
Most of us have a first place (the home/family) and a second place (the workplace) but tend to desire a place where we can relax with familiar people in a familiar place and laugh while engaging in interesting conversations. We are envious as we watch shows like Cheers and Friends as they find unique community in a bar or coffee shop. These local places of community have become known as “the third place.”
In 1989, a German sociologist named Ray Oldenburg wrote a book called The Great Good Place where he coined the term “third place.” We find community in these third places because we feel accepted and they encourage and inspire us to become better versions of ourselves.
Personally, I am fortunate to have several third places. I find this community through my church, a men’s small group, a weekly soccer game, and the co-working space where I work (Work Hub).
This Psychology Today article and this Wikipedia page help provide more context on Oldenburg’s concepts and more explanation of third places.
The COVID Pandemic Challenges Community
But what do you do when your typical third place is closed due to a global pandemic!?
I went through several phases during this pandemic – and I get the feeling others had a similar experience. At first, it welcoming to stay home and spend more time with my family and get more projects done around the house. But then I began to really miss my friendships and started calling them and encouraging Zoom meetings. But then… I just needed to get out(!!) and be with people and get back to my third places.
Community in a Solitaire App Game
I did, however, find a unique community in a most unexpected place. I had gotten a new phone and, of course, it came loaded with the promotional apps that you didn’t ask for. One of those apps was a game called “Solitaire” by GSN. I got in there and played a few games and thought it would be an entertaining and slightly challenging leisure game. But then I got invited into a club (which I didn’t know was a thing) called “Texas Four” and introduced to this special group of people from all over the United States and Canada.
They love each other. It is a special thing to experience. On the simple chat-board, they check in every day with encouragement, personal stories, prayer requests, you name it. They play for each other and encourage the team every day. I am usually in the bottom with points within the game – but I’m still encouraged along by the club.
To the Texas Four club members – Thank you for providing a unique community during this pandemic season. I wish the best for each of you (app names) – Wanderer, Squig, Shuffles, Gran/Wa, JayRay, Jim, Mrs. Bullit, Cara, Kristine, Suemac, Cards, Sun, Turtle, Rawr, KrAzY d, Supercool, Donkey mom – and the rest. Play on!
Questions to Consider:
- Why is community meaningful and necessary for you?
- How did you find community during the COVID Pandemic?
- What do you think we can learn from my story of the Texas Four solitaire club?
Photos in the post:
Featured photo: This was taken of me, my wife, and a group of friends in a coffee shop in Sarajevo, Bosnia in 2015.
Inset photo: I took this photo in 2011 when I went to Addis Ababa, Ethiopia. A local took me to an old coffee shop which explained how coffee was first discovered in Ethiopia.