All of us have either a “heart at peace” or a “heart at war” in relation to other individuals or groups. Our heart’s direction toward a person or group influences how we perceive and relate with them.
Heart at Peace
When we have a heart at peace (or outward mindset), we recognize the individual as a human being who is legitimate, valued, and perhaps even sacred – with their own story, experiences, desires and feelings. People have the potential to contribute and are respected for their own gifts, talents, and insights.
In a business setting, we can work together as a team and resolve normal conflicts and differences with respectful understanding. We respect each other and listen with patience to what people truly mean as they talk. With a heart at peace, you are actively watching for the positive in people in order to build up their strengths and empower them for excellence!
Heart at War
When we have a heart at war (inward mindset) toward a person or group, we perceive them as an object without legitimate ideas, feelings, or contribution. They are valuable only as far as they benefit us or our purpose. We are “in the box” toward that person or group as we actually seek justification for our perception of them.
We look for reasons to maintain our heart at war – by focusing on the negative and overlooking everything positive about that person or group. Then we develop “collusion” by inviting that person to have a heart at war toward us – creating a vicious cycle that can only be broken when one of the parties decides to have a heart at peace.
Think about who you might have a heart at war toward and make a decision today to begin having a heart at peace. It could be an individual you know or one you don’t know. It could be a group you’ve interacted with or perhaps an entire nation or people group you’ve never met. A change of heart starts with us recognizing these assumptions and perceptions – and deciding to change them.
Here is a great post to read more on this topic – Shift to See the Other
Here is a great summary video on these concepts: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MbkhK5HK_j0
- And here’s another one – https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zzE6Fd7D-jU
Books by The Arbinger Institute:
- Leadership and Self-Deception
- The Anatomy of Peace
- TED Talk by the CEO – https://youtu.be/YyhOT3jCcR4
Be the change you wish to see in the world. ~Ghandi